When the strategies that helped you survive no longer leave room for you to live, it’s not about trying harder.
It’s about finding a different way to exist.
Growing up neurodivergent often means growing up with the feeling that something is wrong with you because life is fundamentally harder than it seems to be for everyone else.
You watch other people manage school, work, relationships, responsibilities, and daily life with what looks like ease, and the belief "there's something wrong with me" accumulates mass.
People see someone who has it together. They don't see what it costs you.
So you learned to pay closer attention to everyone else than yourself. Their moods. Their expectations. Their needs. You became skilled at reading the room and sensing what was required of you.
Growing up neurodivergent often means growing up with the feeling that something is wrong with you because life is fundamentally harder than it seems to be for everyone else.
You watch other people manage school, work, relationships, responsibilities, and daily life with what looks like ease, and the belief "there's something wrong with me" accumulates mass.
People see someone who has it together. They don't see what it costs you.
Over time, you learned to trust other people's perceptions, emotions, and expectations more than your own. Your body's signals became easier to dismiss than accommodate. You became the person who could push through anything and tolerate exhaustion.
People came to see you as capable, dependable, and resilient. You did too, and it became a big part of your identity.
Learning you were Autistic, ADHD, or otherwise neurodivergent may have finally given a name to something you'd been carrying your whole life... But by then, over-functioning had become second nature.
Over time, you learned to trust other people's perceptions, emotions, and expectations more than your own. Your body's signals became easier to dismiss than accommodate. You became the person who could push through anything and tolerate exhaustion.
People came to see you as capable, dependable, and resilient. You did too, and it became a big part of your identity.
Learning you were Autistic, ADHD, or otherwise neurodivergent may have finally given a name to something you'd been carrying your whole life... But by then, over-functioning had become second nature.
Beneath all of this is often a quiet belief:
"it's not safe to have needs."
Beneath all of this is often a quiet belief:
"it's not safe to have needs."
So you learned to attune to everyone else while becoming increasingly disconnected from yourself. Burnout is often what happens when that disconnection can no longer be sustained.
So you learned to attune to everyone else while becoming increasingly disconnected from yourself. Burnout is often what happens when that disconnection can no longer be sustained.
Saying yes to a project you don't have capacity for, then being consumed by dread and spending a week in a freeze/avoid cycle
Making a to-do list, then spending the next three hours beating yourself up for not starting it.
Looking high-functioning all day, then collapsing the moment nobody needs anything from you.
Waiting until you get to a 9/10 overwhelm level before asking for help and then beat yourself up: "why do I always let it get this bad?"
Needing support, but spending more energy making your needs seem smaller than actually asking for help.
Writing the text asking for help. Deleting it. Writing it again. Deleting it again.
Automatically taking responsibility for everyone else's feelings, then wondering why you're exhausted.
Saying yes to a project you don't have capacity for, then being consumed by dread and spending a week in a freeze/avoid cycle
Making a to-do list, then spending the next three hours beating yourself up for not starting it.
Looking high-functioning all day, then collapsing the moment nobody needs anything from you.
Waiting until you get to a 9/10 overwhelm level before asking for help and then beat yourself up: "why do I always let it get this bad?"
Needing support, but spending more energy making your needs seem smaller than actually asking for help.
Writing the text asking for help. Deleting it. Writing it again. Deleting it again.
Automatically taking responsibility for everyone else's feelings, then wondering why you're exhausted.
Recovery is about reducing stressors gradually until your system feels safe enough to make clear, informed decisions.
Recovery is about reducing stressors gradually until your system feels safe enough to make clear, informed decisions.
Treating your feelings like a court case: gathering evidence, rehearsing arguments, and trying to prove you're allowed to feel what you feel
The habit of not trusting your body's "no" until it becomes impossible to ignore (migraines, insomnia, incapacitating pain)
Self-deprecating thoughts that lead to doubling down on self-sufficiency
Coping behaviours that look "fine" but are actually self-abandonment (ie., doomscrolling)
Shame spikes anytime you need rest, reassurance, or a slower pace
Feeling guilty asking for reassurance, even when you'd never judge someone else for needing it.
Treating your feelings like a court case: gathering evidence, rehearsing arguments, and trying to prove you're allowed to feel what you feel
The habit of not trusting your body's "no" until it becomes impossible to ignore (migraines, insomnia, incapacitating pain)
Self-deprecating thoughts that lead to doubling down on self-sufficiency
Coping behaviours that look "fine" but are actually self-abandonment (ie., doomscrolling)
Shame spikes anytime you need rest, reassurance, or a slower pace
Feeling guilty asking for reassurance, even when you'd never judge someone else for needing it.
Burnout isn't happening because you're doing too much.
It's happening because you've spent years treating your own needs as less important than everyone else's.
Somewhere along the way, you learned that trusting expectations felt safer than trusting your own capacity.
Burnout isn't happening because you're doing too much.
It's happening because you've spent years treating your own needs as less important than everyone else's.
Somewhere along the way, you learned that trusting expectations felt safer than trusting your own capacity.
Honour your low-capacity days without it meaning something about your worth
Leave social events before you are depleted, and feel proud of yourself, instead of guilty
Stop absorbing other people's moods as instructions
Let other people have their feelings instead of over-functioning because their feelings feel unsafe
Rest without bargaining with yourself or needing to "earn" it
Feel connected to meaning again, and have life stop feeling like a machine you have to operate correctly
Therapy is where you start exploring and re-learning what safety means for you so you can build self-trust to make the changes you need to.
Burnout often looks different for Autistic, ADHD, and otherwise neurodivergent adults than it does in mainstream descriptions. You might find yourself increasingly exhausted, overwhelmed by things you used to manage, struggling to recover from social interaction, finding everyday tasks more difficult, or feeling emotionally disconnected from yourself and others. Executive functioning is severely impacted, pain levels can increase significantly, and cognitive issues like word and memory recall can occur.
The biggest difference in neurodivergent burnout, is in the experience of sudden loss of skills and a decrease in sensory tolerance.
Many people tell me they spent years pushing through stress before realising that what they were experiencing wasn't a personal failure—it was a nervous system that had been operating beyond its capacity for too long.
That's okay. Many clients come to therapy after a late diagnosis, while others are questioning whether neurodivergence might explain experiences they've had their entire lives. Some have been diagnosed via "peer review" (Autistic community identified them) while others have researched and self-identified. Autism is both a neurotype and a DSM diagnosis, and both are valid.
You don't need to arrive with certainty or a formal diagnosis. We can explore your experiences together and make sense of what's happening without forcing you into a particular label.
Most people can't simply stop working, parenting, studying, caregiving, or meeting other important responsibilities; and honestly stopping those activities suddenly wouldn't be in the best interest of your nervous system.
Burnout recovery isn't about abandoning your life overnight. Instead, we focus on understanding where your energy is going, reducing unnecessary stressors where possible, rebuilding trust in your body's signals, and making changes that are realistic and sustainable for your circumstances.
For many neurodivergent people, guilt around rest develops after years of learning that productivity, achievement, helping others, or pushing through discomfort are more important than their own needs. When you are also a woman, trans or non-binary person, or marginalised in some way, this is strongly conditioned into you.
Over time, rest can begin to feel unsafe, selfish, lazy, or something that must be earned. Part of our work together may involve understanding where those beliefs came from and building a healthier relationship with rest, limits, and self-care.
Absolutely. Often times part of the burnout pattern is an intellectual understanding instead of an embodied one. Many of my clients are highly insightful. They have read books, listened to podcasts, researched burnout, and can explain exactly why they feel the way they do. The challenge is not usually a lack of understanding. It's learning how to trust your body, respond differently to your needs, and create meaningful change in everyday life. Insight is important, but healing usually requires more than insight alone.
Recovery doesn't happen all at once, and attempting drastic change in recovery efforts ends up distressing your nervous system even more.
Instead, people often begin experiencing recovery in noticing the small but meaningful shifts:
+Feeling less exhausted by everyday life
+Recognising limits before reaching a crisis point
+Asking for support sooner
+Experiencing less guilt around rest
+Feeling more connected to themselves
+Making decisions based on capacity rather than expectation
+Trusting their own needs and experiences
The goal isn't to become more productive. It's to build a life that no longer depends on constantly pushing past your capacity.
Burnout often looks different for Autistic, ADHD, and otherwise neurodivergent adults than it does in mainstream descriptions. You might find yourself increasingly exhausted, overwhelmed by things you used to manage, struggling to recover from social interaction, finding everyday tasks more difficult, or feeling emotionally disconnected from yourself and others. Executive functioning is severely impacted, pain levels can increase significantly, and cognitive issues like word and memory recall can occur.
The biggest difference in neurodivergent burnout, is in the experience of sudden loss of skills and a decrease in sensory tolerance.
Many people tell me they spent years pushing through stress before realising that what they were experiencing wasn't a personal failure—it was a nervous system that had been operating beyond its capacity for too long.
That's okay. Many clients come to therapy after a late diagnosis, while others are questioning whether neurodivergence might explain experiences they've had their entire lives. Some have been diagnosed via "peer review" (Autistic community identified them) while others have researched and self-identified. Autism is both a neurotype and a DSM diagnosis, and both are valid.
You don't need to arrive with certainty or a formal diagnosis. We can explore your experiences together and make sense of what's happening without forcing you into a particular label.
Most people can't simply stop working, parenting, studying, caregiving, or meeting other important responsibilities; and honestly stopping those activities suddenly wouldn't be in the best interest of your nervous system.
Burnout recovery isn't about abandoning your life overnight. Instead, we focus on understanding where your energy is going, reducing unnecessary stressors where possible, rebuilding trust in your body's signals, and making changes that are realistic and sustainable for your circumstances.
For many neurodivergent people, guilt around rest develops after years of learning that productivity, achievement, helping others, or pushing through discomfort are more important than their own needs. When you are also a woman, trans or non-binary person, or marginalised in some way, this is strongly conditioned into you.
Over time, rest can begin to feel unsafe, selfish, lazy, or something that must be earned. Part of our work together may involve understanding where those beliefs came from and building a healthier relationship with rest, limits, and self-care.
Absolutely. Often times part of the burnout pattern is an intellectual understanding instead of an embodied one. Many of my clients are highly insightful. They have read books, listened to podcasts, researched burnout, and can explain exactly why they feel the way they do. The challenge is not usually a lack of understanding. It's learning how to trust your body, respond differently to your needs, and create meaningful change in everyday life. Insight is important, but healing usually requires more than insight alone.
Recovery doesn't happen all at once, and attempting drastic change in recovery efforts ends up distressing your nervous system even more.
Instead, people often begin experiencing recovery in noticing the small but meaningful shifts:
+Feeling less exhausted by everyday life
+Recognising limits before reaching a crisis point
+Asking for support sooner
+Experiencing less guilt around rest
+Feeling more connected to themselves
+Making decisions based on capacity rather than expectation
+Trusting their own needs and experiences
The goal isn't to become more productive. It's to build a life that no longer depends on constantly pushing past your capacity.
Helping deeply sensitive and neurodivergent adults rebuild self-trust, inner authourity, and lives that actually fit.
Providing therapy in person and online for Burlington, Chittenden County, and anyone within Vermont.
Pre-licenced therapist in the State of Vermont 097.0135825.